Well today I managed (finally) to get up at 7.10, which meant I had just over 30 mins to get ready for work, it’s 7.30, so obviously I have managed it, but even so…
I am finding sleep is my enemy. No, seriously. Monday night I couldn’t get enough of it, by 10.30 (probably earlier) I was asleep, woken at nearly 2am by something falling on the floor, and then back to sleep again by 3. Last night…totally different story. It got to 1.30 and I realised that I needed to sleep, and despite being tired it just wasn’t happening. 2am comes around and I am still awake, still staring at the ceiling (by this time I have turned everything electrical off in the bedroom. 2.30 comes and goes. Finally, it’s nearly 3am and I am starting to drift off. Sure, I didn’t get a restful sleep, I was up later than I should have been this morning and I am headachy, irritable and feeling extremely negative.
Now to something that worries me. Well, as my dear-deceased grandfather-uncle would say “Can you do anything about it? No? Well stop worrying until it happens.” I happen to think that while these are VERY wise words they are also not very helpful. Yesterday I overhear my boss saying something about February 28 (my contract renewal day), and in almost the same breath (before closing the door to continue his long conversation) mentioning “No, I didn’t definitely tell her that it was…” my brain immediately went into “Oh crap, they aren’t going to renew” and then I panicked “what kind of shitty job am I going to end up in next…”
Well, I have to go, I have much more to say…but I will be back…I feel a bit blah today (what’s new) and want nothing more than to go back to bed and sleep for a few hundred more hours…but alas, that is not to be.